Shadows and Shines

Good job! But I have to agree with Hannah...lol...Just be sure not to make anyone look bad!

Lol, that's so cool! Of course, there are certain people who remind me of certain people we both know...but, *ahem* never mind.

OK, guys. Here it is.
I'm going to try to get more to the point during my next chapter. But this one needed some things explained.






CHAPTER 2

Arilyzz was always getting on Eli’s bad side. He didn’t know why, and, he assumed, neither did she. But somehow…somehow he felt some kind of deep antagonizing feeling, that, he thought, would probably fall under the heading of ‘dislike.’
Each had virtually nothing to do with the other, but when forced to be in each other’s company, somehow had the tendency to get into small arguments.
Arguments…something close to forbidden in the Pit of the Shadows, and very rarely witnessed. Also something often occurring in small, small degrees, but are very much avoided.
There was not enough peace in that small town as it was.
He pondered these things as he dressed into his night attire, a cloak of ‘Inziye" and a pair of …pants…
…of the same shade. Of which were already in a size much too small. He had kept the same pair of bed attire as long as he could. There was not enough time in the schedule of the Players to make enough close to be well enough able to have more than one set of clothes for each time in each period of passing time.
So they kept one time for each day of the week. There were seven pairs of attire, each the ‘shade’ that would best be lost in a sea of darkness; seven because there were seven days of the week. They knew this…or at least assumed this…because of an old book…one that has been in the colony for a long time. It talked about some Creator…who made the heavens and the earth. What is the heaven and the earth, Eli wondered as he strapped up the waistline to those strange pants.
Eli had slept in this bed attire since he was ten, all but the new pants. As did every one above that age.
Attire was not a priority to the Players, except of course to wear them. Beauty was a concept that just about each man beheld for himself, and thought, as all the others before and after him, that this was an isolated feeling that he carried, or thought he carried, but had somehow achieved all in himself.
It did not find mentioning.
Each child was kept in small clothes that fit them from birth till the age of three. And then received eight sets of attire much too large for him. One for when he slept, and another for each day of the week.
Then they were allowed to chose what singe pair of formal attire he chose for special occasions.
Then at the age of ten, he received this once more, again in a size much too large, and would wear it until adulthood, the age of eighteen. If they bodies outgrew them, they would receive a new pair, after their first rip.
After adulthood, they were made to wear the same attire for the rest of their lives, however long that may last, but they were allowed whatever attire they wished, as long as his maiden could afford the materials, do the work, or trade something for them.
Eli slipped into his nap cot in the whole. The whole in the cave, as all other caves had. The Workers had to carve them out themselves. Each cave was very tall and very thick. They could carve entire rooms out of the thickness, and could wind the floor in a circular pattern, so that there was like another little cave on top of the other. It could be filled with all kind of other rooms! And each cave could be a different size. The Controllers were harsh people, but fair, and did what was for the colony’s best. They were to make sure that each group of Ken, Kenza, Dainzar, Veena and Groshim would be assigned the cave that best fit the Kenid’s size.
Eli lived in a small Kenid, just his Kenza, Dainzar, Veena and himself. They were assigned a small cave. It had only one parlor with a fire place to cook with, and one room to the left, where Eli slept. He did not find it convenient to climb the twisted hall all to way up to get to his whole. He had requested that whole.
But his Veena loved climbing it, but her being only of the age of seven, was expected to like it. Most young Fetts and Fettas of her own age did.
His Veena, who his Kenza and Dainzar had named Mary for a reason beyond Eli’s knowledge, slept in a larger whole in the upper part of the cave. His Kenza slept in a slightly larger whole across from the small library, and his Dainzar in the biggest whole, around the corner from the sitting room.
Eli’s thoughts skipped a subject.
Why do Kenids not choose which baby they take for their own? And why is it that they do not choose the number of members for their caves?
Why are the shade of plants not dangerous, and why is the shade of darkness not dangerous, and all the shades of the Pit of the Shadows thought to be safe when all others are avoided?
What is the heaven and the earth? Could it be beyond the Shadows? They sound so wonderful, but what if it lay just beyond the town they dwelt in, lurking, waiting to devour. What is love? What did that old book mean? What did it want to tell them?
Eli though about one section of the book he had caught glimpse of one day when he had peeked through the crack of an old door in a constricted area. John 3:16…he was trying to recall. For ‘God’…so loved the ‘world’…that he gave his only ‘begotten son?’ What did those words mean? What is God? What is the world, and what is a son? What does it mean to be begotten? He though of the rest of the words. That whosoever believed in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. That part Eli understood. But how can you live forever. And what is ‘Him’ with the big letter? Was it a name?
Eli did not know.

The rooster crowed at day break, and he wandered of hastily to take his seat in the dining hall.
The Ashtar was ‘splooshed’ onto the surface of his plate. This meal, Eli did not mind so. But was surely not among his favorite. He usually picked out the mushrooms, because he did not like the combination made between that and the carrots. But he liked the walnuts in the mixture.
He took a seat, far from the table that Arilyzz was sitting at. It was one of the last chairs, and he could not have easily found another anyway.
He found himself suddenly at a table with almost all females, some of which he did not mind, and some of which he could live with out.
But I will not mention which, for it is impolite to say.
He sat next to Hadassah, who greeted him subconsciously, while in deep conversation with some of her companions.
"Oh, hello, Eli," she interrupted herself. And spoke hardly volunteered another word to him till noon!
She was listening, amused, to one of her quite talkative friends, Rayhab, who went on, all but non-stop for twenty minutes about her embarrassment for having accidentally tripped an older boy earlier the day before.
Eli did not wish to hear.
He leaned over to Hadassah, tired and slightly short tempered and pleaded with her.
"Can’t you shut her up?" he whispered quietly as she leaned sideways to hear him.
"I’m afraid not," she said, and did her best (and failed, might I had), to hold back a small little laugh which her friend did not notice, being to busy talking.
Eli glanced at Siman, who’s eyes, lucky enough for Eli, wandered over to meet his.
Silas put his hands on either side of his mouth to block the other’s sight of it. He mouthed the words ‘I think the breaks on her jaw are broken’ as Eli laughed with amusement. He felt prompted to say something back. But Eli, being quiet, and not very good at making jokes, did not know what to say. He was close to sadly deciding to say nothing, when Silas turned his head for a moment.
Naomi, the girl to his right who liked quiet, fun games and was well aware of things you would never guess she was, leaned in to whisper in his ear the words he should say next.
Eli knew she meant for him to use these as his own words because she pretended to be ignorant of this just as Silas turned his head back.
Eli glanced away from the pretty girl quickly. ‘All I want to know is, why are they in gear,’ he mouthed back, proud of himself and his friend, Naomi.
He turned to Naomi to speak quietly. Naomi he did not mind so. In fact, he kind of liked her. She did not speak too much, nor was she outspoken or loud. She was kind of quiet, somewhat like himself. He hoped for her to distract him from his unusual surroundings, almost all females, even if she sort of was one.
But he couldn’t seem to just up and start the conversation, for he had a small habit of relying on others to do that for him. Luckily, she turned to him, understanding Eli.
"Do you feel uncomfortable?" she asked. "You may switch places with me and sit next to Silas, if that is your wish."
Eli wished he could, but he did not wish to offend Hadassah, if she was to misunderstand the motive for his gesture.
"No. Thank you, Naomi. But if you care to speak of something else..?" he said shaking his head.
"Oh, I do care. But I’m afraid I don’t know what I should say. My life is just the same as yours," she informed him sarcastically. But she was right all the same as she laughed quietly.

Eli worked had that day.
This was one of the days when they were made to work in the field. They dug ditches and pulled weeds, trimmed back overgrown plants and any other little things like that which needed done.
Eli glanced in another direction. One of the Instructors was talking to Naomi and another girl named Miriam. They were being moved to another job, as it seemed.
Eli wiped his brow and looked to see the instructor beckon to Naomi on the opposite direction of himself after he had pointed Miriam toward Eli’s direction.
Naomi began to follow the Instructor, but Miriam began to follow too, and the instructor hit her on the side of her cheek, which startled Eli, and he jumped.
Miriam turned her head and placed a cool hand on her face, but Eli could not see if she was crying.
Just then, a Controller stepped out from around the corner, and this troubled Eli greatly.
People did not see them much, unless they were angry or had an announcement, or such things.
The Controller grabbed the Instructor’s wrist from behind him, and began yelling at the Instructor. But the Instructor began to make angry gestures with his arms and hands, and stomped off in the direction the Controller had pointed to.
The Controller took Miriam gently by the shoulders and looked her over. He said something to which she nodded.
He gestured toward the Cossion’s place, but she pulled away and headed off in the direction the Instructor had pointed to, obviously not knowing if she was sad or angry.
Eli realized she was headed toward him and his friends, splitting wood. He got busily to work, hoping she hadn’t known he had been watching.
Miriam friend, Eve, came to her side and studied her red cheek, but Miriam shook her off.
Eli could her little of what they said…something about the Instructor telling her to do the wood splitting?
A girl was never made to do this, for it was a man’s job. The Controllers say that it might be too much for a girl, or maybe could damage her for working so hard, or maybe for handling to ax.
Eve seemed almost frantic, and was now speaking loud enough that it drew attention.
"Why are you going this way? You need to see the Cossion. They said you could take to day off!"
She walked steadily toward the wood pile, and ignored her friend completely, who was not walking and darting in front of her, all but colliding with her.
"You can’t do this. You’re not really going to do it, are you?" Eve asked, all but panicked. Neither had ever even held an ax before, much less lift it or swing it. Some even said that a girl would become all but ill after this sort of work.
Miriam said nothing.
Eli could not think that she would be able to complete this task. He did not know of one girl who could.
But as he thought about it, he did not know won who had tried.
Despite Eve’s warnings and her advise, she said nothing, looking angry enough to spit all the wood by hand, and just kept putting one for before the other.
Isaac, another friend of Asher’s (and Eli’s, he guessed), taunted her a little as she approached, obviously not having seen the incident before, for among his taunting he had asked what had happened to her cheek.
She did not answer, but instead, without hesitation or pause, picked up a log of wood, balanced it on Isaac’s stump and split it, not wasting a moment before grabbing another.
They worked in silence.
Eli glanced at an empty chair as he heard Hadassah fun to meet Eve at lunch.
"What happened to Miriam?" she asked, noticing her absence. Eve’s eyes widened.
"The Instructor told her to split wood. She headed in the wrong direction because she did not think he had meant it. He then struck her. The Controller sent the Instructor to the box, and told Miriam she could take the day off to go see the Cossion to see if she has a concussion, but she chose to slit wood at the wood pile."
She paused and the gasped the rest of it.
"She’s there now, alone."

Yay!!!

OK, I'm workin' on it! I'll try to get it on here soon...

Yes, post another chapter! You can't leave us in confusion and suspense, plus a little bit of confusion and...ah, yes, did I mention confusion?

Yeah, Whitney, even though it's not Christian, it's ok if you post some more chapters.

Me 2!!

I'd enjoy reading the next chapter if you put it on here!

Thanks! And yes, foster. I know where I am going with this, even though it will be hard to carry out.
But you know, it's not really a Christian book, and I thought this was for any book.
Should I still post the next chapter here?

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement!

Sounds like a really good story....it reminds me of The Giver (amazing book! ) You do a very nice job giving the reader just enough information to spark their curiosity (for example, "the tool" and "shines") - it makes me want to read more to find out about those things. I'm looking forward to the next part!

Yeah, that's really cool, Whitney! Kinda confusing, but, hey, all first chapters are, unless you're the author, of course. Love the title, though.

Yup! I already told you what I thought this afternoon.lol Good job, Whitney!!! (I love that smily)

that's really cool!
do you have a plan of how the story will go?
(I heard from one author that not using a plotline made a 3 year book take 14 years.lol)

but that sounds like it could be a really awesome story!

Hey guys. I had this dream that was really cool. So a few months ago, I started working on it. Here's the first chapter. Tell me what you think and what I can improve on! I'm open to anything.
Thanks,
Whitney





CHAPTER 1

In the cold, empty space in the pit of the Shadows, there was no movement but the restlessness of the grass, and the quaking of the leaves of that which held the colony captive. No sound or movement was to be heard or seen surrounding the only form of life anywhere for miles. Miles and miles it walked, slowly and almost invisibly. In a cloak, and a robe the color of darkness, the same one as his hair, the one they called ‘Inziye,’ he kept his pace, staying warm in the bitter cold. He wore nothing more than his required clothes, including the new contraption that the Keepers of Knowledge called "pants."
Were they supposed to be more convenient, or were they supposed to be more comfortable? The young boy could not remember.
Apart from the robe, cloak and pants, he wore sandals on his feet, and his hood on his head. He bore nothing else.
No. Nothing else visible. Inside of the robe lay a pouch made of hand spun fleece which contained a long, stick-like tool-or whatever it was.
Sometimes I think I would like to tell you that the boy thought constantly about this tool, whose sharp edges were wrapped in thick cloth so as be kept from wounding any Player. I sometimes think I would like to tell you that the boy knew there had to be a way out of the Pit of the Shadows, and that he sought to find it.
But I cannot.
For the boy carried this tool, day in and day out, keeping it in it’s secret compartment when the light disappeared from the sky every night and the darkness surrounded the Players as they slept in there caves in the peaceful city, heads laying motionless on their cots.
Only few ever even seldom gave thought to this clueless mystery, including the keeper of that tool-or, again, whatever it was-as he held to it, guarding it with his life while not knowing why, and not even pondering the concept.
Why? When a boy is brought up in a certain pattern, trained to do a certain task, and molded to think a certain way, then the world as you know it is the world as you see it. Why would you question anything else?
The boy moved closer and closer to civilization. Out in the middle of the grass, alone, he liked to walk everyday. Living with a colony of about 624 people, knowing them all by name, and being with all of them from when the lights return to the sky to when they hide back away, well…it is not as easy as he would have liked. Sometimes, when the repetitiveness of your routine packed life and constancy of being surrounded starts to get to your head, you might be willing to do anything to be alone, just for a second. Maybe even something dangerous.
For the boy was not safe where he was, so close to the Shadows that he felt as though something could be breathing down his neck.
He was slowly making his way back to the little town in which he lived, tense from his journey away from safety. As he let his thoughts wander, he started to pick up speed. He soon was sprinting back at a full run, not knowing what could be behind him, but not daring to glance back.
The stories he had heard, passed down from generation to generation filled the air around him with the fear that stung his chest as he pulled it in with every cold breath.
He soon saw the watch tower come into view, but the intensity did not cease. It increased by multiplied amounts, for he did not know what step could be his last.
He breathed deeply and rapidly, starting to feel faint. He felt as though his heart would stop at any unexpected moment, as he felt the beating of his heart pump to his throat, and he held his neck, as if trying to hold it still. His head throbbed with every beat of his heart, until there seemed to be a thick black cloud hovering over his eyes, and he began to stumble.
He managed the courage to turn his head slowly to catch a glimpse of something he half expected to see as he fell forward to his knees and collapsed on the ground, his whole body aching with exhaust.
The cloud had covered all but a small portion of his eyes, the light poured in just enough for the boy to see what had been behind him the whole time.
It was nothing.

The boy gained conciseness in his cave, eyes still closed, with his Kenza and Dainzar sitting next to him on the edge of his cot.
"The Cossion said that he’s fine," his Dainzar said, "He just over worked himself."
"What do you think he was doing?" his Kenza asked.
"I don’t know," he answered. "But he should be waking up within the hour. We can ask him."
"Do you think he’ll be in his right mind-"
"It’s really nothing, dear! Stop overreacting. Eli has sneaked out before on early in the mornings. But not on one this cold. The doctor said he could have pneumonia-"
"Oh dear-"
"IF…he does this again. Maybe next time he will. But he’s fine for now."
The boy opened his eyes and listened, his parents not noticing him as they continued to argue.
Eli got up off of the cot and started to leave the room.
"Eli!" his Kenza stood and followed, holding her dress. "Where are you going…The Cossion said to-"
"I’m fine, Kenza. I was just out in the fields-"
"By the Shadows?! You know you’re not supposed to-"
"I know. But don’t you ever get tired of-"
"Of what?"
He paused as his Dainzar appeared into the room.
"Of being surrounded by Players all day long and the repetitiveness of this life we live?"
"Well what other life is there to live?"

This is why I tell you that he never thought of the possibility of there being a point to that tool.
For his response is not what might be as expected from a bright young boy as himself.

"I don’t know." After a long pause, he pushed the stone from the edge of the cave and left.

He wandered out into the courtyard, thinking to himself. When he appeared, he saw his closest friend, Asher, speaking with his cousin, Arilyzz.
As they spoke, he was met by another boy, Jeremiah.
"Hello," he said with a small smile.
"Oh, hello, my friend. What keeps you busy today?"
"Nothing, of course, besides the usual routine. You should know this…except you seemed to find a little adventure for yourself and your ken this morning. There was a ruckus at the Cossion’s place today.
I though you were dead."
"You should know very well that I am not dead. I have never died before, have I."
Jeremiah smiled a little and glanced back at Asher and Arilyzz."
"No, friend. You are but 16."
"Yes, and so you are not. What difference does that make? Players have died younger than I."
"Yes, but through illness and misfortune, which we all thought might have been the case this morning."
Arilyzz left the scene with a hug from her cousin, and Eli’s eyes followed her out.
"Hello, Eli!" Asher said, noticing them and approaching.
"Hello again," Eli shook his head, and watched as Asher shook Jeremiah’s hand as well.
"The Cossion mentioned you briefly today at the breakfast hall. I saw you were not there, but I am curious as to how you got here so soon."
"I woke up, can’t you see?"
"Yes," Asher continued. "But my Dainzar told me that you would not be up today.
"I am fine, can you not see this?" Eli insisted, somewhat annoyed.
Jeremiah signaled to Asher to stop speaking of this, but Asher did not catch glimpse of him.
"Enough, my friend," he advised Asher.
"You can see he is well." Asher glanced at the floor, awkwardly.
"Thank you for your concern, Asher," Eli added. "You are a good friend."
Asher said nothing. Jeremiah pulled the watch out of his pocket and glanced at it. As he put its chain back into his vest pocket he showed them the time before putting it in as well.
"I think it is time for the mid day meal. I am heading to the meeting hall. Would you like to follow me?"
They nodded and did so.

As they waited through the line, they were given their share of Tunkit, a mixture of spare chicken, corn and rice. One of Eli’s better meals. He did not care for most of them, but it was not his to chose.
He watched his parents come into the room with his Veena, and he quickly moved to the other side of the room, hoping not to discuss any more of this foolishness about the incident that morning.
And he got his wish…for the most part.
He took his food and sat down, for that was what he did everyday since his childhood day when he was finally allowed to hold his own tray. But he was not very hungry. He picked at it some, so as not to waste it, but his tongue was also kept busy by keeping the subject off of certain matters.
In the six seated round tables, there was, of course, only one seat occupied by Eli. Asher sat to his right and Jeremiah to his right.
Isaac, another boy with dark hair and dark eyes, like himself and the two to his sides, sat by Asher. A boy with dark eyes and dark hair, Lucious, also sat to the left of Jeremiah. The two seats directly across from them were vacant, but Eli knew they would not be for long. For there were the exact same amount of chairs in the dining hall as there were Players in the colony. Six-hundred-and-twenty-four, to be exact. And six chairs at each of the one-hundred-and-four tables.
Soon after, two girls with the same obvious features, dark hair, dark eyes, came to sit in their seats.
One, Hadassah, sat down in the chair by Isaac, and by Lucious sat the girl, Arilyzz, the cousin of Asher.
"Hello," they greeted them.
The all gave their hello’s. As did Eli, mostly toward Hadassah.
"You gave us quite a fright today, Eli," she began, and was nudged by Isaac, and she quickly held her tongue.
"Will you not eat?" Arilyzz asked after a long pause. Eli just looked away and shrugged.
Seeing that he was not interested in the topic, Lucious changed the subject.
"Someone said that he or she saw shines just days ago."
"Really?" Hadassah purked up. "But the clouds have not-"
"Shed its tears, yes. Not for weeks," interrupted Isaac.
"How can this be so?" Jeremiah questioned.
"Yes, tell us," Asher said quickly.
"Well," continued Lucious. "It is possible for this to happen-so the Keepers of Knowledge say-even if they do not follow the needed circumstances and conditions. But-so they say-it is not likely. About a chance in 68.3, but still possible."
Arilyzz leaned forward. "Do you believe him…or...or her?
"Of course not," Eli satiated for Lucious. Please do not misunderstand me, I do not wish to insult him…or her…but why do you think no one else saw it?"
Arilyzz snorted, "Well, am certain that there has been shines that none of us have seen…"
"Yes but not likely," disproved Eli.
"Why not?"
"Because it always follows the tears, and we’re always watching the sky," Eli stated.
"What about in the night,"
"There’s the watch keeper in the night."
"What if he was asleep?"
"Then he would have been executed!"
"What if it happened without the usual circumstances?"
"Unlikely."
"Says who?"
"Says the Keepers of Knowledge. 68.3."
"OK, friends!" Asher interrupted. "I think that is enough. Does anyone want to finish Eli’s Tunkit?"
He said, with a suspicious, but innocent look.
There were no takers.
Eli and Arilyzz leaned back into their chairs and rolled their eyes and crossed their arms. The meal concluding bell rang, and everyone picked up their trays.